Miracles
by RenegadeCSI
Summary: A mother's thoughts on miracles. A slightly different postep for Grave Danger. Oneshot.


**Summary: **A mother's thoughts on miracles. A slightly different post-ep for Grave Danger.

**Author's Notes: **(1) I can't vouch for the canon accuracy of certain assumptions or names. Some of it is based on bits and pieces picked up from various sources. (2) This is just a momentary diversion from a work in progress. It's been rattling around in the back of my mind and needed to get out.

**Acknowledgement: **With special thanks to my beta reader, Maekala.

**Miracles**

The pale wash of dawn spread slowly through the silent room, lifting the gloom from the far corners where the muted light of the bedside lamp didn't reach. Natalie Stokes sat as she had for hours, her fingers gently brushing her son's lax hand where it lay against the starched hospital sheet. Her heart ached as she watched the light slowly spread across his face, swollen and marked with the angry reminders of thousands of ants that had feasted on his unprotected skin. Such a beautiful baby boy had grown into a handsome young man who shouldn't look as if he'd been splashedwith boiling oil. But the marks would fade in time. She wondered if his memories of the nightmare he'd lived would fade as well; somehow she doubted her own would any time soon.

She looked up when the door opened quietly and managed a thin smile at the woman who slipped carefully inside. Wearing the same clothes she'd worn since early yesterday, hair disheveled, makeup smudged and worn away along with her tears, she felt incredibly dowdy when faced with Catherine Willows' natural elegance. But the younger woman's greeting reflected nothing except warmth and concern.

"How is he?" Catherine asked, her gaze resting on Nick.

"Finally able to sleep soundly," Natalie replied wearily. "They gave him a stronger sedative about three this morning. Until then he was terribly restless. He was having nightmares."

Catherine uttered a small sound of sympathy. "Have you been here all night? Alone?" She sat down in the chair next to Natalie's and offered her the second cup of coffee she carried.

Natalie accepted the cup with a grateful smile. "I wanted to stay," she said simply. "My husband did, too, but I insisted he get some proper rest. He wouldn't admit it, but the stress was taking a toll on him. He has a minor heart condition," she explained as she sipped the coffee, savoring the taste. "He should be back soon. I asked him to bring some of Nicky's things that he'll need when he wakes up."

She set aside her cup and once again curled her fingers around her son's, reaching up with her free hand to brush sweat-dampened dark hair back from his forehead. Nick slept as he had when he was a small boy, curled on his side, one hand tucked beneath his chin. Natalie smiled sadly at the memory.

"Do you have children, Ms. Willows?" she asked, though she already knew the answer.

"I have a daughter, Lindsey."

"I have seven children," Natalie said. "It's a terrible thing for a mother to admit, but Nick has always been just a little bit special to me." Catherine didn't comment, and after a moment Natalie explained. "By all rights, he should never have been born. He's my miracle child."

Natalie could almost hear the other woman's thoughts churning before Catherine finally remarked, "Well, I, for one, am glad he was."

"I have twin girls just thirteen months older than Nick," Natalie said. She felt strangely comfortable talking with this woman she'd met only yesterday. Catherine Willows wasn't really a stranger. Nick had spoken of her, of all his co-workers. He'd even teased his mother by telling her that Catherine was a pretty good surrogate mom. "That was a difficult pregnancy," she went on, her voice low so she didn't risk disturbing her son's sleep. "My doctor advised me not to have any more children, and my husband and I agreed we wouldn't." She breathed a soft, wry laugh. "God didn't seem to see things the same way we did."

Catherine didn't speak, but from the corner of her eye Natalie could see that she was listening intently.

"Things went along well enough for the first few months, but I was a little scared when they told me I was carrying twins again." She saw the flash of surprise on Catherine's face. Her own eyes stung with tears of remembered sorrow. "Yes, Nick should have been a twin. I was six months along when they realized that one of the babies wasn't developing properly. A few weeks later they told me they could only hear one fetal heartbeat, that one of my babies had died in the womb."

Natalie paused when she felt a light touch on her shoulder. She realized that Catherine had moved closer and that the touch was the younger woman's hand, reaching out to share the soul-deep pain only a mother could fully comprehend. Both women tensed slightly when Nick drew a deeper breath and exhaled it in a long sigh. The hand curled beneath his chin flexed once before returning to a loosely clenched fist.

Satisfied that Nick still slept soundly, Natalie went on with her narrative. "The doctors were worried that the dead twin would endanger the living one, but they also knew there was a risk if they tried to remove only one of the babies. They ran every test you can imagine, trying to decide what to do." She paused again and smiled at her strong youngest child. She scarcely felt the tears that pooled in her eyes and overflowed.

"Nicky was born seven weeks early. I barely had a chance to see him before they took him away and put him in an incubator. He was so tiny…but not nearly as small as his twin sister. She'd stopped growing almost two months before…" She quickly brushed the wet trails from her cheeks.

"It was weeks before I was able to hold my son. But he's always been a lot stronger than most people think he is. He gained weight faster than they expected, started breathing on his own before the doctors said he would. I grieved for the baby girl I lost, but I had Nicky. And – as crazy as it may sound – I think in some strange way, a part of his twin sister's spirit is still alive in Nick."

Natalie looked over her shoulder and saw that Catherine's eyes were damp, too. But she was smiling and nodding as if she knew exactly what Natalie meant. "I was so scared yesterday when I saw where he was and what he was going through," Natalie confessed. "It was just like after he was born. I love him so much, but I couldn't touch him. I had to let someone else give my baby the help he needed, to save his life.

"I knew you'd save him, though. Because where Nick is concerned, I do believe in miracles."

_- End -_


End file.
